Posted on Oct 11, 2011 03:00am

Recently, I was forced to hang out with a group of Ted’s college students. I decided to make the most of a terrible, terrible situation and use them as a focus group for all the existential questions that Ted and I have debated over the years. I’ve transcribed the questions so that you can play along at home. (SEE ANSWERS BELOW)

Poll #1:
Is macaroni salad really a salad?

Poll#2:
Which is correct: Jacob James Olmos or Edward James Olmos?

Poll#3:
Is David Hasselhoff awesome?

Poll#4:
Rib-eye or bone-in filet?

Poll#5:
Who wants five bucks?

Poll#6:
Is Minka Kelly hot?

Poll#7:
Weekend at Bernie’s or Weekend at Bernie’s 2?

Poll#8:
Verizon or AT&T?

Poll#9:
Beach or pool?

Poll#10:
Paper or plastic?

Poll#11:
Condoms or abstinence?

Poll#12:
(For the ladies) Do you want to sleep with me?

Answers:
1: Yes; 2: Jacob; 3: Obviously; 4: Bone-in (kaboom!); 5: Ted; 6: Yes. I would’ve also accepted “hell yes”; 7: Doesn’t matter, both are spectacular; 8: Don’t care, I’m on burners; 9: Boobs! Sorry, what was the question?; 10: Canvas, you wasteful jerk; 11: Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! 12: Yes