Tomorrow marks the last day of summer. It also marks the last day of something far more important – skimpy, revealing chick attire.

For at least the next six months ladies across the northern hemisphere will conceal their golden-tanned walking sticks behind formless cotton curtains and shelter their wondrous curves under vast garments of billowy wool. Why? To flummox dudes, of course. And, to a lesser extent, prevent hypothermia.

To commemorate the annual disappearance of tight, short, jaw-dropping clothing, I have devised the following fun page. Print it out, solve each riddle, and then use the boxed letters to unscramble the answer to the MEGA RIDDLE.

What flowing cotton frock sends a dude’s minute hand straight to 12 o’clock?
___ ___ ___ ___ [___] ___ ___ ___

What strappy upper favors the double D-cupper?
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ [___]

What two piece swimmer makes the testes simmer?
___ ___ ___ [___] ___ ___

Worn too tight what pelvic shield of denim can lead to premature male venom?
___ ___ ___ – ___ ___ ___ [___]

What tiny number cut above the knees would stop a man’s heart if she ever dropped her keys?
___ ___ ___ ___ – ___ ___ ___ ___ [___]

MEGA RIDDLE

Autumn nears and chicks bundle up to hide their boobs from bros, so in our heads is where we go to ___________ their frumpy clothes.

[___] [___] [___] [___] [___]

Answers next week!